0:00

When our story begins, The Soma Sisters and their mute small brother Izaws stand watching from the edge of an inverted conical cliff in the Peeevin Mesas of the Rocket Ship. Nodal Nim, bard from the planet of Earth (which is known to float blue and green in the sky) approaches, and the Soma Sisters, who recognize him, proceed to sing his song. He sings it in return, and they have become aquainted; they watch as the sun sets on the Rocket Ship.

4:08

It is a desolate view. A pair of very shiny oversized scissors catch the waning sunlight, as a tribe of telekinetic Yogurt Cutters continue the ritual for which they are known: the cutting of the yogurt. (It takes sixteen hours for them to completely pierce the 100-human-tall container of yogurt.) Ootward of the Yogurt, our protagonists identify a cluster of Glixid Claws dotting the horizon. The largest claw sports the largest satellite-dish growths (Glixid Claws always grow satellite dishes), providing excellent reception for the fisherpeople on the pier, which pokes out into the Felhelheldid Lakoid. Nearer to our subjects, large black and raw umber clouds, composed of trillians of tiny beetles, swarming and weaving in channels of pulsating agitation, twist in the sky.

7:06

One such cloud, upon approaching the edge of the conical cliff, parts to reveal a house covered in green plantiness. The beetles set the house gently on the far side and disperse. The plant takes root in the surface of the cliff. From the front door of the green house, a long dark figure emerges: a mysterious gentleman, long and black. With his hands clasped behind his back, he attends to the curious scenery, followed by a small many-legged animal.

9:15

The Sisters and Nodal Nim, who have observed the gentleman's arrival with anxiety, watch him and consider their options. Do they leave him be? Do they run away? Do they kill him and throw him from the cliff? Do they remove his soul and store it in their soul-sucking jars?

11:20

The gentleman humanely breaks his poor pet's neck and proceed to picnic on its raw body, consuming its flesh and meat with gnarled fingers, the flesh gently filling in the crevices of his fangs, blood seeping from his mouth balls onto his black cloak, his hollow chest souless beneath. He turns, chewing viciously at the freshly torn meat of his still quivering lunch.

12:17

The former party calls out to the newly arrived figure. "Baeehhh!" The man raises an apprehensive elbow at these calls in foreign tongue. He grates some cheese on his elbow cells (to cleanse the palate) and ponders whether or not to approach the strangers. After using his formerly cheese-grating elbow to wipe the residual blood and cheese juices from his pointy chin hair, he steps forward, the ground recoiling beneath his ghastly booties.

14:05

The mysterious gentleman, long and black, cries "Bumblebee!", to which the party's suspicious muscles twivble! Wild defensive chatter abounds as the Soma Sisters attempt to intimidate the mysterious gentleman, long and black. He remains stoic but menacing in the fog that surrounds his miner-skin booties. A fervent crescendo ascends in the air molecules of depth and injustice.

15:25

Nodal Nim sends out a string of notes warning his new friends of foul intentions, making reference to the blood-cheese residue that clings to the outer surface of the gentleman's face ball ("Residue!"). The season is rife with maliciousness, he explains ("Summer do!"), and we must be careful about the extravagence of our hair-do choices ("Pompadoo!"). (Song ball.) (Warning ball.) Cat enters (Cat ball) and exits (Cat unball).

17:07

With graceful masterful dance angles, the gentleman praces as if suspended in gelatin procured from the bones of his lunch pet and its extended family. He moves forth and back, cutting an arc on the cliff face. Mesmerized (in the style of mesmer), the Sisters join his virtual circle, maintaining a constant distance of six humans. Izaws remains vacant and still. Nodal Nim tries in vain to recapture the Sisters' attention with his call of "Mup!"

20:05

The Sisters begin to walk single file toward the chia house. The mysterious gentleman, long and black, makes idle small talk with Nodal Nim. He describes the maintenance of his amazing chia pants: "You just have to water it every now and again." He refers to his new herb garden, and makes passing reference to his obsession with miner-skin booties. He follows the Sisters to the door of his house; Izaws and Nodal Nim take up the rear. The door closes behind the young mute Soma, and Nim is shut out

22:10

The Sisters are immediately stuck by the beautiful colors of the curtains which line all the walls of the one-roomed house interior. Had they been thinking analytically, they would have considered the construction of the beautiful curtains, which are clearly assembled from the faces and beards of unfortunate miners skinned alive (and colored pink and teal by the dyes the miners had been forced to drink before their untimely demises). Their attention quickly transfers to the ceiling of the house, which is woven with roots and vines. In each corner, an arm dangles, gripped by the harsh roots, and a candle sits burning in the callused palm of each cold dead hand. The Sisters commense levitation to the ceiling, floating just out of reach of the forty decaying fingertips.

24:07

Izaws, who has been standing without purpose by the door, is mildly surprised when the mysterious gentleman, long and black, begins shredding the young mute Soma with his elbow-grater. The Sisters, suddenly coming out of it, shriek and hollor and bark and spit as their brother is shredded to a messy pulp on the floor of the chia house. Nodal Nim, watching with distress from a window, is quite surprised indeed when the mysterious gentleman, long and black, turns him into a table, and vanishes.

25:12

The levitation spell gradually wears off, and the Soma Sisters float to the ground, where the recently-tableized Nodal Nim is presenting an assortment of delicious-looking bean dishes. The beans, borrowing the voices of the Sisters, begin vehemently chanting, "The death of your brother shall be avenged!" (Each bean houses the soul of one miner that has been murdered by the mysterious gentleman, long and black.) The Sisters seek among the beans for one special bean that will revive their brother from the lump of pulp that now rests on the floor. They calculate carefully.

27:54

Convinced they have found the perfect bean, the sisters proceed to cut it in two and consume their respective halves. Responding to the bean's most alarming qualities, the Soma Sisters hack and cough and scream and cry. Have they chosen unwisely? The mysterious gentleman, long and black, re-emerges from the doorway, singing a delightful tune. He produces a pink and teal watering can (which matches his o so stylish gardening apron and the ribbon on his enormous sun hat!), collects the bits and pieces of Izaws into the can, and sprinkles the mute brother, fully-reassembled back onto the floor of his house, perfectly healthy and bored. The Soma Sisters, while relieved that their brother has been returned to them, shout angrily at the mysterious gentleman, long and black, who laughs joyfully.

Epilogue

You see, my friends, the mysterious gentleman, long and black, was not really an evil man. In his younger days, he had quite by accident murdered and eaten an innocent miner named Guppo, and had from then on been enslaved by his new thirst for luscious miner bodies. The Soma Sisters had indeed been wise in their choice of bean to eat! They chose Guppo, and upon the final devouring of Guppo's wretched soul, the mysterious gentleman, long and black, was released from his bondage and was thus transformed into a mysterious old lady, short and white, dressed for serious gardening. The Soma Sisters and Nodal Nim (who, forgotten and left to his own devices, gradually and uncomfortably turned back into a bard) became close friends with the mysterious old lady, short and white, and they had many delectable adventures together!